How Do You Find Balance?

This is a complex post as it touches on very abstract ideas, so I’ll just start by saying I am generalizing things a bit here. There’s always going to be unique topics, situations, and perspectives that don’t apply to what I’m sharing. I’m a little obsessed with finding balance in all aspects of life because it is so important and yet so challenging, so I’d like to share some thoughts I’ve had while trying to do this.

A fellow recently posted on a group over how angry he is seeing people “condemn” others for keeping Christmas, and I keep seeing posts crop up like this where people are offended by others sharing their convictions. Now of course I know there are posts out there that are very unloving. The fact is, though, we are all free to share our opinions, and none of us would get offended by someone else’s opinion if all of us were convinced in our own minds of what is right or wrong for us to do. Offense forms because of insecurity. Rudeness and slander is always going to rub us wrong, but even so, I’ve found I don’t need to feel offended by even these things. Instead, I pity their mental state. Pity is the cure for anger and offense.

I firmly believe if you are 100% convinced that what you say, believe, or do is not wrong but right, absolutely no one can offend you by condemning you for it. If you’re scrolling through your feed, and you see a post that attacks your beliefs, you will either be offended by it if you have doubts in your mind, or you will shake your head, or laugh, and keep scrolling.

I once saw myself as a social media peacemaker. I constantly got after others (I still have to watch myself for this) for arguing about what I saw as pointless. I hate seeing conflict. I hate seeing people get hurt. I hate seeing time wasted arguing over nothing important. I hate seeing people judge others for stuff that isn’t sinful. So I tried to pacify and appeal, but it doesn’t work. People will always share their opinions the way they want, fight and be nasty, or else act like they are abused victims. We blame others for our pain, when actually, nobody can hurt us if we’re wearing the armor of self-assurance. The words some random person types out has zero power over those who are stable-minded. I grieve deeply over how much discord there is among people, but I recognized that if I can’t handle seeing all the imperfect expressions of people online, if I am in an unstable frame of mind myself where I could allow myself to be offended and hurt by all of it, I really have no business being online. Time-out. Let’s all just sign off when we realize we haven’t got enough stability or self-control.

When I open up my laptop, this is the mindset I need to have: I will not be offended by those disagreeing with me. I will make every effort to see things from other’s perspective. I will never respond in anger. I will evaluate correction with humility. I will see “offensive” posts/comments as an opportunity to assess whether or not I am mistaken in my beliefs. I will ask myself if they have a point to what they’re saying even if they’re not wording it very well.

Now, back to whether we should share about our opinions/beliefs openly. Take a step back in time to the when Catholicism was killing believers for merely whispering a question against the church (read Foxe’s Book of Martyrs and you’ll never want to associate with anything Catholic again). The ones who were willing to die by standing against the lies, the idolatry, and the paganism were the ones who paved the way to us having the freedom to speak like we do now without being literally burned alive. On one hand, we shouldn’t abuse this costly freedom by maligning others, but neither should we waste it by staying silent. Indeed, imagine those who died, seeing the opportunity we have now to share the truth and how so few of us take advantage of it merely because we’re afraid of offending someone.

I well know I’ve offended a lot of people over the years with my posts. I know how I write my thoughts down is far from perfect and that I have shared too much at times, but I have decided that offense is not going to keep me quiet. I shut down my Instagram for several months awhile back because of how hurt some people were getting. I curled up into my shell. Maybe people think that if I share a post that is against something they might be doing this means I’m going to judge them too, so they either block me or disappear. Just because I share my convictions doesn’t mean I’m thinking to myself everyone who isn’t convicted as well is bound for hell. My convictions mean, yes, I believe what some people are doing is wrong, however, that doesn’t mean I’m going to shun them or tell them they’re going to hell. I won’t even think that in my head because God is the one who knows the individual heart and why they do what they do.

Some people, like the fellow who posted against posting against people who keep Christmas, think it is wrong to offend people, that we should stay quiet and keep our beliefs to ourselves unless someone asks, even that we should join in with our family’s celebrations to keep from hurting them. Although I believe there’s always a time and a place to share and a call to be gracious while doing so, I don’t want to be silent anymore. I used to never speak about my beliefs because I was afraid of offending people or being called a cultist, but then I asked myself, do I really deeply believe in something I can’t even talk with confidence about? Gideon was afraid of what people would do when he destroyed their alters, so he did it all by night, but he still did it! So, hopefully until my last breath, I am going to keep sharing.

Some say, “You’re just going to push people away from the truth by sharing about the roots of all the Catholic holidays,” but really, I believe you’ll only push away those who have no interest in understanding, those who just want to do what they want to do for the sake of tradition. Sharing truth can’t push anyone away from the truth if they are a real truth-seeker. So, just make sure it’s the truth you are sharing! And that's another thing, if you aren't extremely familiar with what you're sharing it's good to be careful, but I still would encourage you to share, because that is how I have had sweet brothers and sisters point out to me where I am wrong.

I don’t want to be found on my knees in front of something that is idolized by Christians these days when Yeshua returns, and Him ask me what I’m doing. Would I say, “Oh I knew you’d understand. I just didn’t want to offend my brothers and sisters. I wanted to use this idol to teach them the truth about You.” Did Shadrach, Meshach, and Abendigo say to each other, “Hey, lets not offend this pagan king who rules over us. We can kneel down but that doesn’t mean we’re worshipping. God will understand.”

I changed my mind over celebrating pagan and Catholic holidays because of posts and videos shared by brothers and sisters warning about the roots. I didn’t stop because I was guilted or scared by these posts. I really appreciated them. I have enough common sense and stability I think to know when someone is going overboard with how they are sharing and just breeze past those opinions. The people who posted things that helped convict me, I could tell they were sharing their hearts, and it encouraged me to dig deeper into it all.

Anyway, all that to say, I’m almost becoming amused by all the posts happening right now that bash others for bashing others. Who among us is actually in a place to tell others what to do or not do? No one. All we’re doing is sharing our beliefs and whoever comes across them will decide for themselves what they will do. There’s always going to be “too much” or “not enough” shared. There’s always going to be extremes. There’s always going to be labels flung around, blanket-statements, and no form of balance. There’s always going to be hurt feelings. There’s always going to be rude people who have no ability to exhort others because of it. So, I decided I would just toughen up, not be offended, keep sharing, focus on refining my own posts and comments, and keep seeking balance by God’s grace and guidance. I hope to encourage others to do the same. This post is especially for those of you who get weary trying to share. Somewhere, someone out there needs to hear what you're saying (if it's scriptural), and God can use it to touch them. Keep praying for wisdom and keep refining your understanding so you know that what you are sharing is truth!